Satire

“THAT’LL DO IT!”: Wastewater Treatment Plant Installs Big Glade Plugin Outside

LA CROSSE, WIS — Problem Solved! That’s according to the managers of a wastewater treatment facility in downtown La Crosse responding to complaints of strong foul odors emanating from their plant near City Brewing Company and Houska Park.

“We treat wastewater,” plant manager Devin Bowelcek said. “Naturally, it’s going to smell like shit down here, it just is. But we think we’ve found a solution.”

Bowelcek said the board of directors immediately voted to install a “really big Glade Plugin” to help mitigate the smell of ogre farts and three-day-old-cheese-curd-and-beer-bender morning dumps that plagues the city’s south side.

“Just mounted that sucker right on the side of the building,” Bowelcek said. “Holds like 500 gallons of Summer Rain. That’ll do it.”

The plugin uses roughly 6 million gigawatts of power per month battling with the waste treatment’s Sauron-from-Lord-of-the-Rings-like burn off exhaust.

Reporter Sam Shilts contributed to this article.

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