Satire

“Oh God, Is That Today?” Local Resident Panics for the 12th Day in a Row

LA CROSSE, WIS — Tuesday morning, in a jolt, local resident Billie Smith gasped. 

“Is today the day we’re supposed to vote?”

Her coworkers are more than used to this. This election, which some experts believe will be the last real democratic election any of us will see, has the nation on edge. Between attack ads and reams of oddly proportioned postcards, it can be easy to think it’s happening “today”, no matter when “today” is.

But Smith has done this for nearly two weeks; every morning is the same.

“The first time, I got scared,” her coworker laughed.

While election fatigue is real, the added pressure of seven months of lockdown, with no end in sight, adds to what Smith is feeling.

Her coworker continued, “I had to look at the date. How is it already October? But also, how is it only October?”

While the end is near in so many ways, there are still 14 days until election day on November 3rd. Whether you’ve already voted by mail or plan to grab democracy by the- something, election officials advise to please make a plan to vote.

Early voting in La Crosse began Tuesday. 

Reporter Rachel Rubins contributed to this article.

Categories: Satire