Satire

Town Prepares for First Ever Visit From a Sitting Duck

WEST SALEM, WIS — A small town in La Crosse County is preparing for an historic first, welcoming their first ever visit from a metaphorical sitting duck.

Donald J Trump, current US president and sitting duck according to all of the polls, will deliver a speech at the La Crosse Fairgrounds Speedway Tuesday afternoon. Residents and business owners in West Salem have been preparing for days.

“No matter what your political leanings are, it’s always an honor to have such an obvious sitting duck visit your town,” West Salem resident Taryn Twohorse said. “And this one’s extra special, since we’ve never had a sitting duck come to West Salem at all!”

The area has prepared for an influx of travelers from outside West Salem as well.

“We’re expecting people from Sparta, and just north of Sparta, and oh! Also just west of Sparta, too!” Twohorse added, “Just people from all over!”

People have already made greeting signs for the sitting duck, with sayings like, “Sorry about your probable loss!” and “It’s okay! I don’t know how tariffs work either!” and “Stick it out! You’re only down about 220,000 votes that we know of!”

La Crosse Times Staff contributed to this article.

Categories: Satire