Satire

Brett Favre Sends Out Dick Pick

SUMRALL, MS — Legendary Packers quarterback Brett Favre has picked who he will endorse for the 2020 election.

The former quarterback and southern white man with a lengthy history of head injuries endorsed Donald Trump for president via Twitter Friday morning, which some say effectively makes this the second time Favre has sent out a dick pick, homophonically speaking.

“My Vote is for what makes this country great, freedom of speech & religion, 2nd Amnd, hard working tax paying citizens, police & military. In this election, we have freedom of choice, which all should respect. For me & these principles, my Vote is for @RealDonaldTrump” the tweet read.

Political analysts believe that – in typical Favre fashion – this tweet could be intercepted by a record number of people, with some even labeling it The Great Dick Pick Pick-Off.

“This spells trouble for Biden,” said Albus Votemort, political science professor at Azkaban University, “since Favre is so widely loved and respected as an intellectual giant and moral compass for the nation. His is a forceful and influential voice of wisdom that will lend depth and substance to Trump’s image.”

“If Trump ends up swinging a victory because of this, we’ll have to call it The Great Dick Pick Pick Off Pick Six,” Votemort added.

Favre, who has personally said he experienced “hundreds, probably thousands” of concussions, urges others to follow his lead and make the same clearheaded choice to vote for Trump. 

“Take it from me, a guy who has been hit in the head countless times and made an untold number of poor decisions. This is a great choice.”

Favre is also reportedly expected to change his mind at least three more times before election day.

La Crosse Times Staff contributed to this article.

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