WASHINGTON, DC — As the nation sits on the edge of its most contentious election to date, Democrats are preparing their response to any potential violent unrest by stockpiling their most effective weaponry: snarky comments on social media.
“We have the most brilliant tactical minds in the DNC working on a strategy for disseminating condescending tweets and memes to the political left’s social media bubble while the right begins forcefully taking over the country,” DNC Chair Tom Perez said.
The DNC’s plan includes incessantly pointing out hypocrisy and educating the masses about the realities of how law is supposed to work, while citizens run in terror from unstable people who have stockpiled guns and ammo for decades.
“Yeah!” Representative Ocasio-Cortez (D-NY) said, “That’ll get ‘em. Just you wait! If George Takei picks up one of my tweets, it’s all over for those right-wing militias! I mean… that could be seen by at least seven or eight million people cowering in their basements!”
Critics argue that the Democrats’ strategy is akin to the age-old saying, “Don’t quote laws to those with swords,” but that was quickly dismissed.
“Oh, please,” Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) said, “They don’t have swords, okay? They have AR-15’s. Totally doesn’t apply here, don’t be such an alarmist.”
La Crosse Times Staff contributed to this article.