Satire

Biden Builds New White House, Starts “Truman Show” for Oblivious Trump in Old One

WASHINGTON, DC — President-elect Joe Biden’s team already has a plan to build a new White House and turn the old White House into a Truman Show-like reality series where Donald Trump can continue thinking he is the actual president. 

With President Trump rejecting the results of the election and lawsuits mounting, it appears as if the 2020 presidential election is far from being in the history books. Throughout the unfounded arguments of “voter fraud” and “illegal ballots” lingers the continued question of whether or not Trump will willingly leave the White House once the litigation subsides and the recount process proves Biden the winner. But the Biden team already had a plan for this inevitable situation. 

“We are in the process of building a new White House and fixing the old one with hidden cameras and microphones” explained Biden strategist Choobah Spoonmyass, “The reality series will then be broadcast to the American public where half will get the joke and the other half will probably think he is really in charge.”  

The idea to create a White House replica and place Trump into it was considered, but quickly rejected as replicating the smell of the current White House would be nearly impossible. 

“Trump’s team has left a distinctive odor all around the White House,” Spoonmyass continued, “It’s a combination of cheap cologne, spray tan chemicals and sweaty asshole. It was just impossible to replicate.” 

Along with the mounting of hidden cameras and microphones, the Biden team will also staff the White House with trained actors who will abide by every one of Trump’s illogical demands – as per usual in the White House. 

The Biden team has already struck a deal with several major television outlets to offset the costs with a plan to donate the money to various groups in need. 

“We are hoping that this will serve a dual purpose of entertaining this madman and his followers while using the money to make hefty donations to many of the organizations that suffered under Trump’s leadership.” 

Reporter Dr. Jonathan H. Dong contributed to this article.

Categories: Satire