Satire

New Outdoor Dining Bubbles Unexpectedly Bring Out Tons of Giant Hamsters

LA CROSSE, WIS — A popular tapas restaurant’s addition of outdoor dining bubbles is attracting some unexpected guests.

“I guess – in hindsight – I suppose we should have seen this coming,” owner Seester Thefourth said.

Since installing the outdoor dining bubbles that look like hamster exercise balls, sure enough, within a week 4 Sister Tapas Restaurant was seeing 3-4 six-foot hamsters each day inquiring about lunch and a quick roll around the park.

“We’ve never served unusually sized rodents before, so this was very new to us,” Thefourth said, “We didn’t really know how to tell them no.”

Times being the way they are, a patron is a patron according to Thefourth. So, service is now provided daily to the gigantic fluffy lunch guests, who in return are grateful for the experience.

“This is pretty much a godsend,” local giant hamster Skritter MacSkrat said. “I can go there and grab a quick and healthy bite to eat and get to explore the park for a bit without having to worry about the giant cats out there. Plus, the portions here are just perfect for a hamster. I love it.”

4 Sisters will of course continue its outdoor service for humans as well, they just ask that you do not tap on the bubble of any dining hamster guests.

La Crosse Times Staff contributed to this article.

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