Satire

All Seven Melanias Ask Trump To Concede

WASHINGTON, DC — President Trump’s inner circle is divided over his ongoing refusal to accept the results of the election. One large and influential group in particular, all seven of the Melania Trumps, have begged him to come to terms with President-elect Joe Biden’s victory.

According to a White House source, all of the first ladies, including the real one, have told Donald that the time has come for him to accept the election loss.

Each Melania serves a purpose. One is purely for walking to a helicopter because her hair looks nice flowing in the wind. Another is assigned just for standing next to the president at speeches because of her mime training. 

“It was Melania number 6 who we call Bashful who proposed the idea,” said the anonymous White House source, “And then Melania number 3, or Doc, rallied the rest of the group into joining them to confront him.”

The White House source said the lone defector of the group was Melania number 4, or Dopey, but she was quickly swayed to join the rest of the group by Melania number 7, or Grumpy, who used physical intimidation to change her mind. 

Apparently President Trump was blind-sided by the group’s stance and was reported as muttering, “Et tu, Sneezy?” who is known to be Trump’s favorite. 

Reporter Dr. Jonathan H. Dong contributed to this article. 

Categories: Satire