Satire

Who All Is Running for La Crosse Mayor?

LA CROSSE, WIS — The mayor’s race is just a few short months away and many have already joined the fray of those vying for the office come April of next year.

We’ve compiled a list of all the candidates running so far:

Jessica Olson


Greg Saliaras


Martin Gaul


Chris Stolpa


Mitch Reynolds


Jim Kabat


Electron


Martin Gaul’s Mustache


Probably This Guy Too, Maybe


A Duck


A Cool Duck


A Lame Duck


A “Grey Duck” (Also: fuck off, Minnesota… you’re the only weirdos in the world who play Duck, Duck, Goose like that)


The Shark From Coconut Joe’s


A Sexy Hand Puppet 


A Shot of Polish


This Dead Rat


The Swedish Chef


Chef From South Park


This Whole Boat Full of People


Annnnnd… This Fuckin’ Thing

La Crosse Times Staff contributed to this article.

Categories: Satire