Who All Is Running for La Crosse Mayor?

LA CROSSE, WIS — The mayor’s race is just a few short months away and many have already joined the fray of those vying for the office come April of next year.

We’ve compiled a list of all the candidates running so far:

Jessica Olson

Greg Saliaras

Martin Gaul

Chris Stolpa

Mitch Reynolds

Jim Kabat


Martin Gaul’s Mustache

Probably This Guy Too, Maybe

A Duck

A Cool Duck

A Lame Duck

A “Grey Duck” (Also: fuck off, Minnesota… you’re the only weirdos in the world who play Duck, Duck, Goose like that)

The Shark From Coconut Joe’s

A Sexy Hand Puppet 

A Shot of Polish

This Dead Rat

The Swedish Chef

Chef From South Park

This Whole Boat Full of People

Annnnnd… This Fuckin’ Thing

La Crosse Times Staff contributed to this article.

Categories: Satire