Confused Man With Scalpel and Gloves Arrested at Pizza Doctor’s Exploratory Surgery

LA CROSSE, WIS — A Shelby man is in police custody yet again Tuesday after a misread of a popular pizza restaurant’s special buffet-style dinner.

Ronald “Pickles” Shockamel, 46, was arrested inside Pizza Doctors on 7th street south on disorderly conduct as a repeater. According to the criminal complaint, Shockamel came into the restaurant wearing a white lab coat, blue rubber gloves, and was carrying a scalpel and sewing kit. Police also said he was wearing galoshes.

“His goal was – for exploratory surgery night – he wanted to try to surgically graft two extra arms on his body so he could look like Goro from Mortal Kombat,” arresting officer Karpets Tugo said.

Shockamel was swiftly taken into custody after announcing his plans to a socially distanced and horrified crowd of middle school softball players. He is currently held in La Crosse County jail on $5,000 dollar cash bond.