La Crosse Times Year In Review – February

LA CROSSE, WIS – With the addition of the “Best Restaurant That Serves Curly Fries And Pepsi Products But Does Not Not Have Pearl Street Downtown Brown On Tap And Have A Bartender Named Diane Who Works On Tuesday And Thursday Evenings As Their Second” category, the Explore La Crosse Best Of La Crosse County popularity contest has surpassed one million categories. 

“We are very excited to have eclipsed this milestone,” boasted Explore La Crosse employee, Flovital Jizzelbacon. “We’re happy to provide the La Crosse area with ample opportunities to anonymously judge businesses that were selectively chosen without their knowledge or permission.” 

Even answering at a mindless rate of one question per second, the survey will still take a person eleven and a half days to complete. 

Now Explore La Crosse has their sights set on a new goal.

“They say that the first million question’s a cakewalk,” Jizzelbacon continued, “We’re shooting for ten million questions next.” 

This would take approximately 117 days to complete. 

Reporter Jonathan H. Dong contributed to this article.