WASHINGTON, DC — Shortly after Donald Trump said farewell to Washington and left aboard Marine One, Trump was seen falling out of the presidential helicopter. Reports later confirmed that the president was pushed by former first-lady and current wife Melania Trump.
“It was an accident,” a smiling, non distraught Melania explained, “I slipped and unbuckled his seatbelt, I slipped and opened the door, and then I slipped and pushed him with my feet out the door. It was very slippery in there.”
Onlookers watched as the only president to have ever been impeached twice hurled toward the ground at terminal velocity immediately before smashing onto the ground with a satisfying “SQUISH” sound that resonated across the city.
“It sounded like a large sponge being thrown against the pavement,” explained witness Wipey Dingdong, “except the sponge was full of melted cheese.”
It was also reported that Trump screamed “I’m not falling! It’s a Democratic hoax!” before striking the ground with enough force to register as a 4.5 level earthquake.
Reporter Dr. Jonathan H. Dong contributed to this article.