20 Bird Mascot Ideas for High Schools Trying to be Less Racist

LA CROSSE, WIS — With Central High School’s announcement that they would officially change the image and more importantly the name of their “Red Raider” Mascot to the “Riverhawks”, we’ve compiled a list of 20 other weird bird-themed mascot names in case any other high schools are interested in making the bare minimum effort in being less shitty to Native Americans:

The Sackvultures

The Bananabeaks

The Feathered Walkedinonyoujerkin’its

The Angry Worm-Vortices 

The Leatherbilled Rastas

The Secret Cheetos

The Benign-toomer Avacadobirds

The Crustpunk Geese

The Dangerpoofs

The Malfunctioning Gasgrills

The Wreckingbills

The Bloated Pokeyfaces

The YASSSSS Finches

The Giant Beak McConnellthroats

The Needlebeak Sadpoofs

The Lilyprancers

The Fashion Turkeys

The Mighty Sharpgoiters

The Toothy Seagulls

The Disappointed Snotshooters

Hopefully – in your high school’s journey to eventually not casually treat an entire race of people like animals – you can use some of these as inspiration for a unique symbol your school can be proud of! We can’t wait to head to a local game, grab a hot dog at the concessions and cheer on The Mighty Fashion Turkeys!

Reporter Sam Shilts contributed to this article.

Categories: Satire