Satire

New Bill Would Require “Yakety Sax” to Play Whenever GOP Introduces Legislation

MADISON, WIS — Following the news that state senate republican Patrick Testin introduced a bill that would require the national anthem be played at any event held in a venue constructed with tax dollars, Democrats followed suit with their own bill requiring a whacky, circus-esque song to be played whenever the GOP introduces new legislation.

The Democrats’ bill, entitled the “Wisconsin Silliness Congruence Act”, would make it illegal for GOP members to submit and debate their new legislation ideas without first playing the song “Yakety Sax” in its entirety.

“Yakety Sax, by the great Boots Randolph, perfectly encapsulates the cartoonish nature of the Wisconsin GOP introducing bills they think should be law,” Wis Dems spokesperson Laramy Jargon said. “This isn’t about retaliation for a barely-veiled nationalist law that serves only to test the waters of facism, but rather making sure voters can be confident that the Wisconsin Legislature is treating these ideas as silly as they really are.”

The bill also requires the submission process to include the submitting lawmakers be chased throughout the halls and chambers of the capitol building by security guards while the tune is playing.

“They will need to figure out how to all run into one door, be chased by the guards into that door, and magically appear out of another door way across the room,” Jargon added. “Bonus points if they can make it look like it’s a video that is sped up about 150 to 200 percent.”

If passed, Governor Evers has recommended that the GOP begin researching old videos of “The Benny Hill Show” for preparation.

Reporter Sam Shilts contributed to this article.

Categories: Satire