Satire

Where Is All This Hate Coming From? All We’ve Ever Done Is Call Being Gay a Sin for Thousands of Years…

LA CROSSE, WIS — We’re confused. Just so confused. Why all of the sudden are we seeing a ton of hate-filled messages spreading on a Catholic university’s campus? I mean, all we’ve done is call being gay or any other deviation from white heteronormative behavior a horrible sin since human civilization began! We honestly can not understand where this treatment of people we loudly believe are ruining the sanctity of marriage and will definitely burn in hell for all eternity has come from!

This is a frustrating issue. Problem solving is a lot easier when you know where the problem is coming from in the first place. But there’s just no way to know in this case! This definitely popped up out of nowhere. It’s not like it’s some ages-long pattern of dehumanization and mistreatment from one easily identifiable and super-influential source, right? It could be anything! 

How are we supposed to educate against this? I wish there was a galvanizing figure of Christianity that preached love no matter what, that would really come in handy right now.

Wherever this is coming from, know this: These four hate incidents in a row in half of only one semester don’t represent the university, the faculty, or the student body as a whole. No, no. no… that doesn’t happen until you hit five, we’re pretty sure. So… we’ve got time to figure this out.

Catholicism contributed to this article.

Categories: Satire