BREAKING: Popcorn Tavern now pronounced with a really hard ‘R’

LA CROSSE, WIS — Residents may have been pronouncing the name of one of La Crosse’s downtown bars wrong this whole time.

The revelation came just days after leaked messages between staff and management sparked controversy and fallout over whether being objectively racist is actually racist or not.

Longtime Popcorrrrrn Taverrrrn regular Riley Brandysuck started going to the establishment on 4th Street over 40 years ago, which coincidentally is the time period in which the bar’s “sense of humor” seems to be stuck, according to residents.

“I can’t believe I’ve been saying it wrong for so long,” Brandysuck said. “I used to just kind of kiss each ‘r’ with a little ‘h’ instead, you know? To be polite.”

Pronunciation isn’t the only change residents are confronted with. The bar recently renovated, now offering a white color scheme on the inside, both in the literal sense and metaphorically.

Another rumored change concerning live music would be that all future songs at the venue may be required to be played in the key of “F minor(ities)”.

Note: We used the second best headline we had because the much better, “Downtown bar untouched by April fire manages to burn itself down anyway,” was already taken.