LA CROSSE, WIS — Tempers flared Tuesday as a local libertarian realized his polling location was within 500 feet of a school.
“This is an outrage!” said lifelong libertarian Michael Mikman. “This is clearly the work of the woke liberal agenda. That ACTIVIST JUDGE at La Crosse County Circuit Court is just jealous that I’ve got GAME and he doesn’t! Sorry about your limp dick, Demonrat!”
Mikman, who agreed to meet for an interview outside his father’s garage which doubles as his apartment, accused the justice system of voter suppression.
“It’s collusion!” Mikman said, pausing to take a pull from his vape pen. “The judges get together with the elections people in an underground bunker beneath Jump Start Adventure Park and plan out their schemes against REAL patriots like me!”
Mikman mentioned he’s gone door to door to bring awareness to this issue and not for any other court-ordered reasons.