Report: Trump also assured Michels they’d have Taco Tuesday together

MADISON, WIS — Losing gubernatorial candidate Tim Michels said in a recent interview that Donald Trump did not return to Wisconsin to host another rally for Michels because Trump was certain Michels would win. Despite these reassurances, incumbent Tony Evers went on to win reelection.   

Michels also revealed that he spoke with Trump just before the election and that not only did Trump reassure Michels of victory, Trump also reiterated that he and Michels are still friends, even though Trump would not be coming to Wisconsin.

“I get it. Sometimes friends are busy doing other things. Sometimes they can’t come over to your state to help you move some furniture, catch the game, or do the one thing that would save your underwhelming political career,” Michels said. “That doesn’t mean we’re not basically best friends. Look, I’ll call him right now….ah, no answer. Darn.” 

Michels has now lost all three of his attempts at public office, but sources say the embattled businessman may have endured his harshest blow yet when last week Trump did not show up for a planned Taco Tuesday dinner with Michels at The Cantina in Madison.   

“It was supposed to be a little post-Thanksgiving thing, just him and me, but it’s not a big deal. More tacos for me, right?” said a misty-eyed Michels before sighing heavily. “We’re still doing a white elephant gift exchange for Christmas, so that’s cool.”

A spokesperson for Donald Trump was unable to verify the white elephant gift exchange.