Two challengers — Daenerys and Aegon Zietlow — announce their claims for Kwik Trip CEO

LA CROSSE, WIS — Donald Zietlow, First of His Name, CEO of the Bluepolos, the Banana Trucks, and the First Beer-Runs-of-the-Night, Lord of the Seven Rivers, and Protector of the Coulee Realm, will step down for retirement, naming his son and Mayo Clinic Maester Scott as heir.

But two others have now made a claim for the Karuba Throne.

Donald’s brother Aegon Zietlow first made his claim known by raven Monday eve.

“CEO Donald must give what was promised!” Aegon wrote. “The Karuba Throne is mine! All who speak out against my claim will be thrown in the Hot Spots!”

Donald The Conqueror originally named his brother as heir, until a falling out at the Bread Wedding when Aegon publicly insulted the quality of the take-home fried chicken meals served at the banquet.

Subsequently, another message via raven flew in Thursday morn. This time, it came from the East, from Donald’s niece, Daenerys Zietlow-McHugh. In it, the Princess of Holmen states that though her claim may not be as strong when it comes to her bloodline, she has amassed a broad coalition of support, should the matter come to conflict.

“I may have married into this family, but those who are loyal to me have pledged their undying… uh… well, their loyalty! Okay?” her message read. “I have sworn backing from the Caseys of Sparta and the BPs from beyond the Valley. Should my claim be challenged in any way, you WILL FALL!”

Though he’d hoped the transfer of power to be smooth and swift once he retires, Donald now admits he recalls seeing the coming calamity in a dream.

“It was so vivid,” the CEO recalled. “The vision was so clear, it could have been one of our bathroom floors.”

Zietlow called this dream the “Song of Gas and Snacks”.