Author: Dr Jonathon H. Dong

Local News, News, Top Stories

Mount La Crosse fires up seasonal employee-making machines

LA CROSSE, WIS. — It’s time to descend into the recesses of your cellar to dig out those $300 skis you bought and used one time 15 years ago. Thanks to early snow accumulation in the Coulee Region, skiing season is already upon us! In preparation for the ski season opening, Mount La Crosse has already fired up their Seasonal Employee-Making machine. General Manager Chatterer … Continue reading Mount La Crosse fires up seasonal employee-making machines

Dr Jonathon H. Dong
Local News, Local Politics, News

Martin Gaul Shows Range of Emotions After Close 3rd Place Mayoral Primary Finish

LA CROSSE, WIS — With final results from Tuesday’s Primary crowded race for La Crosse Mayor tallied, Vicki Markussen (1,560 total votes and 24% of the overall vote) and Mitch Reynolds (1,345 total votes and 20%) are the two candidates voters chose to advance to the April 6 general election. Although seven of the other candidates were at least 400+ votes away from qualifying, one … Continue reading Martin Gaul Shows Range of Emotions After Close 3rd Place Mayoral Primary Finish

Dr Jonathon H. Dong
Local News, News

La Crosse Eagle Sculpture Remodel Bears Striking Resemblance to Don Henley

LA CROSSE, WIS — The landmark eagle sculpture was removed from La Crosse’s Riverside Park back in September as it was in need of serious repairs. As the city checked in on the repair progress, it was revealed that the sculpture now has a strong resemblance to Eagle’s founder, drummer, and singer Don Henley.  Henley, who formed the classic rock band The Eagles back in … Continue reading La Crosse Eagle Sculpture Remodel Bears Striking Resemblance to Don Henley

Dr Jonathon H. Dong
COVID-19, Local News, News

Gundersen to Lure Anti-Vaxxers into Vaccinating via Pop-Up Fireworks Tents

Gundersen Health System has released its plan for vaccinating complete and utter dipshits who have stated they will refuse to get vaccinated for COVID-19 for a variety of nonsensical reasons. The announcement comes after a PEW study in December 2020 showed that 39% of people are opposed to getting the vaccine. This would essentially make herd immunity impossible with a minimal attainment percentage being 70%. Continue reading Gundersen to Lure Anti-Vaxxers into Vaccinating via Pop-Up Fireworks Tents

Dr Jonathon H. Dong
National News, News, Opinion

GameStop Stocks Explained by Someone Who Has No Idea What the Fuck is Going On

WALL STREET, USA — For those of you who are showing off your armchair knowledge of Wall Street stuff and shared internet memes about what is going on with the GameStop stocks, allow me, someone who has no fucking clue what is going on or how stocks even work, to explain to you what is really happening.  Be mindful that not only do I not … Continue reading GameStop Stocks Explained by Someone Who Has No Idea What the Fuck is Going On

Dr Jonathon H. Dong