ONALASKA, WIS — The world’s most boring human who also happens to have — and may even play — a guitar seems to have lost his or her pick. Authorities claim they located the pick Tuesday in the parking lot of an Applebees. The mildly used blue pick showcases a “US Bank” logo on the front, giving valuable insight on what kind of person it … Continue reading World’s most boring guitar player loses pick

LA CROSSE, WIS — The City of La Crosse launched a brand new app Tuesday that features what some people are calling, “the greatest and most original logo design of all time.” The city launched its LaCrosse311 app designed to both consolidate city services in one place, and also to confuse and confound the general populous over the age of 50. However, somewhat overshadowing the … Continue reading City of La Crosse’s new app picks super cool logo design that is not at all a total ripoff of anything

LA CROSSE, WIS — A new recommendation Sunday from the Department of Health and Human Services advises the whole La Crosse area to be immunized from the spread of new Starbucks locations. DHS first sounded the alarm when approximately 52 new Starbucks appeared along a short stretch of Highway 16 in what seemed like the span of the past two weeks. “The spread of new … Continue reading DHS recommends La Crosse area receive ‘Ventipox’ vaccine to prevent spread of new Starbucks locations

LA CROSSE, WIS — Residents may have been pronouncing the name of one of La Crosse’s downtown bars wrong this whole time. The revelation came just days after leaked messages between staff and management sparked controversy and fallout over whether being objectively racist is actually racist or not. Longtime Popcorrrrrn Taverrrrn regular Riley Brandysuck started going to the establishment on 4th Street over 40 years … Continue reading BREAKING: Popcorn Tavern now pronounced with a really hard ‘R’