LA CROSSE, WIS — On the heels of the news that Glassdoor ranked Kwik Trip one of the best places to work, another website, Stretchpants, has ranked the convenience store the number one place to absolutely wreck your diet and gain a full-sized toddler’s amount of weight in 2021. “We are so honored to have received both of these awards,” spokesperson Spicy Nuggvelvet said. “To … Continue reading Kwik Trip Voted Best Place to Gain 26 Pounds in 2021

“I was sooooooo excited!,” said Ticker, a man who has no problem buying gas station underwear. “I thought this was really going to spice things up in the bedroom – literally! If you know what I mean…” Continue reading Guy Not Sure Why The Edible Panties He Bought Don’t Taste Like Spicy Chicken Sandwiches

Reports indicate Ammerman was feeling unsure about his decisions in such a foggy state, but Kwik Trip looked appealing and smelled good. Continue reading La Crosse Man Entered Kwik Trip Late Last Night, Not Sure How Far Purchases Went

Once the KT-1000 completed his mission of terminating the few remaining stations, it will then begin construction by assimilating the station into a new Kwik Trip.  Continue reading Killer Robot KT1000 Sent From The Future to Kill Few Remaining La Crosse Gas Stations

Allegations include a 1993 incident in which The Urge physically intimidated and then attempted to blackmail Rocky Rococo after a downtown altercation, multiple claims of sexual harassment involving roller dog innuendos, and inappropriately touching Nature’s Touch. Continue reading Allegations Surface Against Kwik Trip Urge Mascot