Though the city-wide jacket was unanimously approved, the council had many difficulties deciding on some of the finer points of the jacket.
City Council Approves Purchase of $10B La Crosse-Sized North Face Thermoball Jacket for Cold Spell
La Crosse Eagle Sculpture Remodel Bears Striking Resemblance to Don Henley
LA CROSSE, WIS — The landmark eagle sculpture was removed from La Crosse’s Riverside Park back in September as it was in need of serious repairs. As the city checked in on […]
Pearl Street Blaze First Time Water Has Been Served at Brothers
After putting out the blaze, crews were invited across the street to Yesterdaze to smash the fire truck used on Brothers into tiny bits.
BREAKING: Weiner Curves to the Left
The weiner was airlifted from the scene and dropped into a nearby really big garbage can. The cause of the accident is still under investigation, though officials speculate that the weinermobile may have been distracted by a passing vaginamobile.
Gundersen to Lure Anti-Vaxxers into Vaccinating via Pop-Up Fireworks Tents
Gundersen Health System has released its plan for vaccinating complete and utter dipshits who have stated they will refuse to get vaccinated for COVID-19 for a variety of nonsensical reasons. The announcement comes after a PEW study in December 2020 showed that 39% of people are opposed to getting the vaccine. This would essentially make herd immunity impossible with a minimal attainment percentage being 70%.
New Ordinance Requires All New Business Names to Include “Rivers”, “Coulee” or “Driftless”
“We were going to do that anyway,” said Punsy Minesweeper, new owner of 3 Driftless Rivers’ Coulee Cooperative. “This is how people know if a business is located in this part of the state.”
GameStop Stocks Explained by Someone Who Has No Idea What the Fuck is Going On
WALL STREET, USA — For those of you who are showing off your armchair knowledge of Wall Street stuff and shared internet memes about what is going on with the GameStop stocks, […]
City MTU Opens Online Sales of 2021 Struggle Bus Passes
LA CROSSE, WIS — La Crosse Municipal Transit officials have announced, albeit a little late, that yearly passes for the 2021 struggle bus are now available for purchase online. Residents may purchase […]
Wisconsin Republicans Set to Vote on Repealing the Ozone Layer Too
The legislation would be one of the first pieces passed since April of 2020 in the state of Wisconsin, and the very first piece of legislation attempting to remove an utterly necessary planetary safety net allowing life to exist.
On a Scale of 1 to “U-Haul in the Old K-Mart”, How Disappointing Was Your Last Decision?
The thing to remember is this: Everyone has made a bad choice now and then. What’s important is that we learn from it, and don’t go on to put a car dealership in one of the old Shopko’s.
