District administrators say they are doing everything they can to prepare for in-person classes to resume, including and limited to, most everything they did to prepare for in-person classes in the fall of 2020.
WASHINGTON, DC — The Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) is seeking information that will assist in identifying the gross, seditious asscrack pictured as it was actively instigating violence in Washington, DC on […]
WASHINGTON, DC — Shortly after Donald Trump said farewell to Washington and left aboard Marine One, Trump was seen falling out of the presidential helicopter. Reports later confirmed that the president was […]
LA CROSSE, WIS — Oh my Jesus H. Whinnying Horse-Fucking Christ, there is a god damned Oscar Meyer Weinermobile in the parking lot of the motherfucking hotel downtown, holy fuck! It’s there! […]
CHANHASSEN, MN — The CEO of MyPillow has released a new line of pillows specifically designed for domestic terrorists looking to overthrow a government, or to up their pillow fight game at […]
LA CROSSE, WIS — Newly discovered signs on Viterbo’s campus are clarifying that two new hate groups, the Sons of the Immaculate Virgin and the Catholic Maccabees, are only for male members […]
MOUNT STERLING, KY — Nestlé Prepared Foods is recalling 762,615 pounds of Pepperoni Hot Pockets after pieces of actual edible food have been found inside. The frozen, should-not-be-eaten-but-we-do-anyway products were shipped nationwide […]
LA CROSSE, WIS — On the heels of the news that Glassdoor ranked Kwik Trip one of the best places to work, another website, Stretchpants, has ranked the convenience store the number […]
LA CROSSE, WIS — With the news that the Rivoli will reopen Friday, the apparitions haunting the historic theater are excited to finally have something to do. “I’ve just been kind of […]
ONALASKA, WIS — Moving into a new house is an exciting but also nightmarish time filled with a mountain of work. So let’s not make more work than we have to, yeah? […]
