ONALASKA, WIS — Moving into a new house is an exciting but also nightmarish time filled with a mountain of work. So let’s not make more work than we have to, yeah? […]
OPINION: Repainting This Kid’s Room is Gonna Suck, Let’s Just Have One Instead
Young Mayoral Candidate’s Flyer Destroyed by His High School English Teacher
LA CROSSE, WIS — Eighteen-year-old La Crosse mayoral candidate Sam Schneider’s campaign got off to a rocky start this week with his first political flyer being absolutely destroyed and returned to him […]
“Sexy La Crosse Mayoral Candidates With Puppies Calendars” For Sale
LA CROSSE, WIS — As a show of unity and collective love for the city, the La Crosse mayoral candidates have collaborated to create a calendar with each month displaying a different […]
U-Haul Wondering If You’d Be Able to Help Them With Something For a Few Hours Next Saturday
LA CROSSE, WI — U-Haul recently confirmed that they have bought the old K-Mart building in La Crosse, and will be turning the former department store into a temporary retail showroom. Before […]
BREAKING: The Table Leg You Stubbed Your Toe On Was Actually ANTIFA In Disguise
Officials were initially skeptical, but after 2 hours of YouTube “reserch!” law enforcement officers were convinced that the table leg made of solid 5 inch pine was actually a clever disguise used by anti-fascist agitators for the purpose of making real patriots look stupid.
Local Dad Builds Hairiest LEGO Castle from Pieces Found Sucked Up in Vacuum
A Holmen dad has constructed the world’s hairiest LEGO castle this past weekend using only random pieces he found sucked up into his vacuum and wrapped in hair.
Lucifer Announces 2021 Goals in State of the Underworld Address
HELL, UNIVERSE — In his annual State of the Underworld address, Reigning Lord of Damnation Lucifer spoke to a large gathering of demons, evil legionnaires, and Fox News reporters about the organization’s […]
Televangelist Pat Robertson’s Head Descends Another 8 Inches Toward Hell
VIRGINIA BEACH, VA – Media mogul, televangelist, and blackened soul Pat Robertson took another step toward burning in eternal damnation to start 2021 with revealing that his head had descended another eight […]
Man Scream-Posting “FIX THE ROADS” Now Extremely Upset About Road Construction
La Crosse Times Year In Review – July LA CROSSE, WIS — A local resident has done an about face in terms of opinion when he noticed that the road construction he’d […]
“Best of La Crosse County” Celebrates One Millionth Category
La Crosse Times Year In Review – February LA CROSSE, WIS – With the addition of the “Best Restaurant That Serves Curly Fries And Pepsi Products But Does Not Not Have Pearl […]
