Alternate Timeline Biff Tannen Asks for Trump Comparisons to Stop

HILL VALLEY, CA – The Biff Tannen from an alternate timeline some call 1985A has publicly requested that people stop drawing comparisons between him and Donald Trump. 

The request from Tannen came after people gathered outside the White House to protest police brutality and spent another day waving signs and screaming for justice. Police officers and National Guard units flooded Lafayette Square, delivering on a threat made by President Trump. Just before the city’s 7:00 pm curfew went into effect, they were hit with flash-bang explosions and doused with tear gas. 

“It’s time to stop making these Godwin comparisons from me to present day Trump,” shouted alternate timeline Tannen from his luxury suite at Biff Tannen’s Pleasure Paradise Casino & Hotel. “That guy is crazy.”

The Godwin comparisons, or Godwin’s Law, Tannen was referring to is an internet adage that as an online discussion grows longer and more intense, the likelihood of comparisons to Hitler and his deeds approaches. Once this point has been hit, the discussion effectively ends as you have reached a point of insurmountable evil. Tannen has replaced Hitler with Trump in this analogy. 

Tannen himself is no stranger to controversy. The alternate timeline he resides was created because an elderly version of himself took a Sports Almanac in 2015, stole the time traveling Delorian, then headed back to 1955 where he handed it over to his younger self. As a result, Tannen became the “luckiest man on earth” by successfully betting on a horse race and amassing a fortune due to having the results in the almanac. With Tannen in power, this transformed Hell Valley into what many refer to as “Hell Valley” where the once idyllic place to live became a literal hell on earth including skyrocketing crime, murders, drive-by shootings, and corrupt police. 

Despite these unbelievably ironic comparisons to Trump, Tannen, clad in his silk robe and seated in his tiger-stripe throne-like chair, is calling for an end to the Trump comparisons. 

“Trump is a butthead,” Tannen added, “I hope his presidency ends by crashing into a manure truck.” 

Reporter Dr. Jonathan H. Dong contributed to this article.

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