Amid Pandemic, Bro Cancels Skeevy House Party You Weren’t Going To Anyway

LA CROSSE, WIS — Along with many decisions around the country to cancel or outright ban gatherings of 50 or more people, one local college student is canceling his weekly house party.

“Look, our parties are straight lit, fam,” 20 year old Skylar Chad-Dylan said via Snapchat story. “But a buddy of mine told me about that Covert 2019 thing and… that sounds totally not lit, fam.”

Sources say the second year Rec Management major’s parties are held near the UW-La Crosse campus at a dilapidated rental unit known only as “The Barn”. Neighbors tell the La Crosse Times that Chad-Dylan consistently overstates how popular his weekly gatherings are.

“No one really goes there, and he’s just virtue signaling about COVID-19 now,” neighbor Sadie Flanksteak said. “My roommates and I made the mistake of going once… never again. So fucking creepy.”

Despite his cancellation, Chad-Dylan still hopes others will be in the spirit of the weekend.

“You can def send me some partying videos from your quarantine ragers, yo!” Chad-Dylan exclaimed. “Especially you honeys out there…”

His Snapchat story was removed well before the 24 hour cutoff, with Snapchat citing the posts as “violating their cringey-ness guidelines”.

Reporter Sam Shilts contributed to this article.