Biden Challenges Trump to Women-Sniffing Competition

WASHINGTON, DC — With Joe Biden becoming the presumptive Democratic Presidential nominee, the stage is set for the first of three presidential debates coming this fall. Apparently the September 29th date for the first debate cannot come soon enough for Biden, as he issued his first challenge to President Trump: A woman-sniffing competition. 

Though there has been no official word from The White House, sources close to the president believe Trump will enthusiastically accept the challenge from Biden to creepily sniff women.  

Rules for the competition will be judged in the women-sniffing categories: 

  1. The element of surprise
  2. Sniff duration
  3. Creepiness (bonus points if candidate can establish and maintain an erection)

Polls currently have Biden as the front-runner in women-sniffing, but experts say that Trump’s 25 sexual assault claims against him spanning back to the 1970s show that the president can be a formidable opponent with his general mastery of chauvinism as demonstrated countless times.   

“Biden has conditioned his women-sniffing skills, but the president is clearly the superior misogynist,” commented political analyst Robin Tinkertoy. “The question really is: Can the president limit himself to just sniffing?” 

There has been no set date for the sniff-off, but Biden has reportedly suggested it be held on Sunday, June 21st to commemorate Father’s Day so that he can whisper “That’s what daddy likes” after sniffing. 

Reporter Dr. Jonathan H. Dong contributed to this article.