CAPITAL CITY, A FOREIGN COUNTRY — The “elected” leader of A Foreign Country has made waves this week – albeit embarrassingly – for apparently announcing that anything bad that can happen, will happen, according to law.
A Foreign Country’s leader, Definitely A Straight Man, made the announcement Friday from his golden plated podium beneath thousands of precious jewels recreating A Foreign Country’s flag.
“As a response to this terrifying pandemic, I am officially declaring Murphy’s Law all across A Foreign Country,” Supreme Leader A Straight Man said. “It is to be enforced day and night by A Foreign Country’s armed forces: A Foreign Country’s Really Really Good and Big Military.”
A Foreign Country nationals were at first confused, but ultimately put at ease by the technicality allowing them continued sort-of freedom.
“We’re pretty sure he meant Martial Law, but no one is going to bother correcting him since Murphy’s Law is actually better than what we have,” A Guy Living There said, shortly before being jailed indefinitely for talking past 4:00 PM.
Definitely A Straight Man insists the Murphy’s Law declaration will only last until the end of the COVID-19 pandemic.
“Hopefully it will only be a few months,” he said, “but knowing our luck, whatever the worst outcome is will probably happen… wish there was a term for that.”
Reporter Sam Shilts contributed to this article.
