Dr. Fauci’s Enchanted Rose Loses Another Petal After Correcting Trump Again

WASHINGTON, DC — Dr. Anthony Fauci has been a near-constant presence at the daily coronavirus task force briefings at the White House. As the head of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases for 35 years, his expertise on the global pandemic has been a reassuring force for millions of Americans concerned about how COVID-19 has uprooted their lives. Unfortunately, his time in that position appears to be running short as the enchanted flower that protects Dr. Fauci’s job has lost yet another petal as it is actively showing visible signs of wilting. 

Of the roughly 55 press conferences on the health crisis so far, Fauci had only missed a handful. With his primary role of clarifying medical questions related to the COVID-19 pandemic, a secondary role has evolved for Fauci as the national leader of correcting any and all medical misinformation President Trump shares. This constant corrective action of the president’s seemingly random ideas is in direct violation of the terms of the spell on an enchanted rose to keep Fauci’s job with the White House. This, in turn, has caused the enchanted rose to begin to wilt. 

As the COVID-19 pandemic continues its stranglehold on the United States, Fauci gained prominence amid questions about whether the current White House has listened enough to scientists. Fauci in particular, has struggled to respond with the knowledge that any misstep could lead to further wilting, which has led to Fauci’s presence at the press conferences fewer and further between. 

When asked why he was only at the briefing once this past week, an administration official stated to the La Crosse Times that “despite the media’s ridiculous efforts to somehow slander the president and his top experts, it is simply fake news.” The statement was read from a tattoo that has been branded to every White House official’s arm.  

There is still no word on how Fauci plans to reverse the spell, but it was reported by an anonymous source that “only the president’s true love” can save Fauci now.

Reporter Dr. Jonathan H. Dong contributed to this article.