NEW YORK CITY, NY — After decades of criticism, media giant Fox News will remove a meticulously doctored self-image of fair and balanced reporting. This comes days after the media company also removed an altered image meant to depict protests in Seattle, Washington.
“We’ve agreed that keeping up pretense for all these years of being an unbiased and fair source of news is just too exhausting,” a spokesperson said. “I mean, it was manageable when we still had Shepherd Smith, but it’s just not even worth trying anymore now.”
Fox News garnered a reputation as conservative news media despite a permeating tagline of “Fair, Balanced and Unafraid”. Punditry, they said, seems to have blown a whole in that claim the size of Tucker Carlson’s ego.
“We have hosts who regularly refer to one political party as ‘Demon Rats’,” Fox’s spokesperson continued. “It’s really hard to pretend that that’s a vetted and balanced statement.”
Fox says their new slogan will be chosen in the coming weeks, with “Alt-Right and Tired of Hiding It”, “Fair, Balanced, and Under Investigation for Sexual Assault”, and “The Racist 15% of Your Day That Isn’t Catheter or MyPillow Commercials” as front-runners.
Reporter Sam Shilts contributed to this article.