Gordy’s Market Closes With Passive-Aggressive “Thanks” Sign

LA CROSSE, WIS – A north La Crosse grocery store has closed officially with an obviously passive-aggressive sign of thanks to the community. 

Gordy’s Market at the northwest corner of George and Gillette Street has posted signs informing customers has closed as of last Wednesday. But within the signs is a tone ripe with sarcasm. 

“Yeah. I’m so “thankful” for the community’s “support” over the past couple years,” commented former store owner Gordon Marketski while assertively making air quotes with his fingers and speaking in a cartoonishly mocking tone. “I can’t tell you how “happy” I am with the fucking north side community.” 

Despite the store continuously being under-stocked, or “half empty” as many residents put it, Marketski said he always thought of it as “half full”. Local residents have been preparing for a possible closing for at least three years, a sentiment Marketski found laughably frustrating. 

“WHAT?!? They were “expecting” us to close for three years? They didn’t shop at the market because they “thought” it would close down? What the hell?” shouted an irate Marketski. “Shouldn’t that be an incentive to “shop local” as everybody keeps bitching about?” 

With Gordy’s Market closing, there is now concern that much of north La Crosse could now be considered a “food desert” without a standard grocery store; a situation that gave Marketski reason to gloat.

“Ha! Fuck those guys,” Marketski continued. “Have fun getting your “groceries” at Kwik Trip.”

Reporter Dr. Jonathon H. Dong contributed to this article.