Hilarious Scooter Fail Enshrined in Concrete Forever

ONALASKA, WIS — An Onalaska man came across a scene this past Wednesday morning he can only describe as a “hilarious moment he’s kicking himself for missing.” He speculates that a child likely ignored several warnings about wet concrete and rode his kick scooter directly into the freshly laid, uncured cement sidewalk. 

When 46-year-old Robbie Roto went for his morning walk Wednesday in his Abbey Road neighborhood in the Town of Onalaska, he expected more of the same: comfortable sweatshirt weather, a couple people out mowing he would politely wave to, even the occasional car would drive through this generally quiet neighborhood. Roto had no idea he would discover something far more interesting and satisfying that would likely stay in the forefront of his mind for years to come. 

“A neighborhood kid rode his kick scooter right into the wet cement, and then rolled around in it a little bit,” Roto explained while gasping for breath from face-hurting laughter. “Here’s the best part, the kid left the scooter there to dry permanently into the sidewalk pavement!” 

Roto admits that though he did not witness the incident, he has a pretty good idea which neighborhood child had the mysterious accident. Roto admits the knowledge of which child likely committed the act was a contributing factor to the overall amusement as this particular neighborhood kid has historically not been respectful on his kick scooter. 

“I’m totally cool with kids riding around the neighborhood. They can even ride into my driveway for all I care,” Roto continued, “but this kid in particular will ride by houses knocking over trash cans, breaking mailbox flags, and throwing his garbage into our yards.”

Along with this, Roto also speculated that to actually ride into the wet cement, the child would have had to not only ignore the giant bright orange construction cones, but they also would have had to ignore the yellow caution tape lines 15 feet leading up to the wet cement with a large sign reading “KEEP OFF! WET CEMENT.”  

“I feel virtually no empathy for this kid,” Roto continued, “This is the type of natural consequence every adult dreams they see a misbehaving kid have: one where the kid doesn’t actually get hurt, but they definitely can see and feel the effects of their behavior.”  

Roto concluded by saying that he did initially contemplate removing the kick scooter, but decided against the move wanting it to harden into the concrete to “stand as a monument to neighborhood adults who were tormented as well as a warning for future generations of asshole neighborhood kids.” 

Reporter Dr. Jonathan H. Dong contributed to this article.

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