It’s National “National Day” Day!


LA CROSSE, WIS — As we all know, today marks the day where all across the nation we celebrate National Days all day!

National National Day Day was started all the way back in 2003 when a morning news show anchor in small town Moscato, Iowa desperately needed at least a minute more content to banter about with the meteorologist. A quick search of a dubious webpage led him to find the first National Day.

“It has blown me away how big this has gotten,” Camdon Buttervoice, who now works in a mill work factory, said. “At the time, I just thought it would be cool to have a little something fun before the weather segment. Now, I’m pretty sure there is a “National French Onion Soup Day”. I did that. Wild.”

Experts argue whether the first National Day was for pizza or donuts, but generally agree since “the whole thing is so arbitrary”, it doesn’t really matter.

“I mean, no one is really ‘in charge’ of national days, per se,” historian Buzz Billies said. “And with that lack of oversight, we will probably see anything you can think of having its own day in just five more years. Think “Rule 34”, except not for pornography. If it exists, then there’s a national day for it.”

Seventeen years later, there are nearly seven national days per day on average, with up to sixteen on each weekend day. Subjects range from the mundane to the very mundane, giving morning news and internet blogs a plethora of content of which to make use. 

Reporter Sam Shilts contributed to this article.