La Crosse Man First In Group Threatening to Crash, Call It a Night

LA CROSSE, WIS — With socializing reaching an unprecedented ninth hour late Saturday night, La Crosse resident Steve Windhorse announced to his friend group that he may soon crash and call it a night. 

Multiple reports indicated that the group had been going all day and that it may in fact be “about that time.”

Though none of the friends desired to be the first to officially wind ‘er down a little, reports out of the downtown area indicated that multiple individuals secretly considered hitting the old dusty trail at various points after about 9:30 pm. 

“My friends and I typically don’t stay out that long,” said Windhorse between exaggerated yawns from his apartment Sunday morning. “What time did we get home? I don’t even know right now!”

Text messages found on Windhorse’s phone show the group’s growing interest in hitting the rack beginning at about 10:15 pm. The last text he received came at 10:46, indicating that most of the group remained awake and active, even though one individual did not know how, given her long day at work.  

A text from a second individual at about the same time indicated that she “can’t even right now,” which suggests a group decision to part ways was imminent, perhaps around 11:00 pm. The La Crosse Times recovered several Taco Bell receipts indicating post-11:00 pm meal purchases by Windhorse and others.

“The evidence points to the group ending their night at or around midnight. That is the most likely scenario here,” said forensic expert Dr. Jonathon H. Dong. “I really don’t see a feasible alternative, other than Netflix, but that would involve individuals or pairs only.” 

Reporter Greg Lovell contributed to this article.