Local Satire Site is Once Again Asking for Your Support

LA CROSSE, WIS — Asking for this is awkward. I’m so uncomfortable even putting this out there that I had to semi-disguise it in a stupid meme from like a year ago that maybe like half of you will get. But here it is: 

We’ve got a Patreon and I’d love it if you could become one of our patrons.

Putting this together on a daily basis is a major highlight in our busy lives. We hear asks for more content and more to offer on the website and that’s just what we want to do, sooner rather than later. 

But we need your help for that to happen. 

I’m not gonna lie: the more popular this gets, the more time we want to spend on it and make it even more special. And if we can get your help to make more room for the La Crosse Times in our lives by letting some of our creators drop a second job (or not have to sell plasma and other fluids), then we can make more La Crosse Times in your lives too. That’s a goal we can achieve.

Ugh, this is really sounding like begging now… let me explain what we can offer before this gets too cringey.

Being a patron is super simple. All it means is you are supporting us with a monthly payment starting at just $5 dollars, just like any subscription might be. All you need to do once you create your account is to click on our page, choose your “tier” and click join. That’s it! Set it and forget it. And if you don’t like it, you can quit whenever you want. Except don’t do that, because we’ll have some extras for you too:

Anyone who signs up as a tier 1 patron between now and the end of August will get all of the benefits of tier 2 and 3 patrons: free behind-the-scenes information such as additional headlines, alternate ideas we had for our most popular stories, first notification of any new projects we are working on (such as podcasts or live shows), and any ticket discounts that may apply to a future live event.

I can’t thank you enough for being readers in the first place. It’s been an insane half of a year already, and this stupid fun website has been keeping me going through all of it. I could not do any of this without anyone reading, liking and sharing our articles. Thank you.

Now, back to our regularly scheduled jackassery.

Editor-In-Chief Sam Shilts contributed this article.