"Look! My Broom Stands Up!" Says Guy Ignoring Depression

LA CROSSE, WIS — A downtown La Crosse resident has discovered his broom can stand up on its own, which sources say is enough for him to forget how depressed he and the rest of the world is right now.

Born in Bloomer, Wisconsin, 34 year old Chad Buchner is like many Millennials: Completely broke, worried about the state of the world and constantly screaming, “What the fuck is going on!?”

But that all changed Tuesday when he came across The Broom Challenge on the internet.

“I was like oh man…” Buchner said. “I gotta try this shit!”

The Broom Challenge is simple: Sometimes, certain types of brooms will stand upright on their own, making the owner of said broom look like a wizard. Buchner said the moment he grabbed the broom from his closet/bedroom, he felt a little bit lighter, like a small amount of crushing weight was being lifted just for a second.

“When I saw it standing on it’s own,” Buchner continued, through tears. “That’s when I felt it: Just a small moment of peace and happiness… it was just so goddamn beautiful!”

Buchner did go on to admit the moment was fleeting and of course didn’t change anything in his life or the world around him.

“So what? Who cares? This is basically all I have right now. Just LET ME HAVE ONE GOOD THING!”

Reporter Sam Shilts contributed to this article.