Repeat Drug Offender Sentenced to 7 Years of Really Dirty Looks

LA CROSSE COUNTY, WIS — A La Crosse man will face seven years of mean looks and constant furrowed brows following his 2,133rd drug conviction.

Topher Anderson, 27, was convicted in the La Crosse County Court in May of attempted homicide, battery, possession of a firearm as a felon, possession of narcotics with intent to sell, reckless endangerment, possession of a stolen vehicle, felony bail jumping, bribery, witness tampering, prostitution, vandalism, streaking, intellectual property violation and felony jaywalking, all as a repeater. 

“I’ve been in the La Crosse Police a long time,” arresting officer Fabian Handsy said. “This was the most wrong an attempted drug buy has gone that I’ve ever heard of.”

La Crosse’s District Attorney, Jim Truenke, had been hoping for a tougher sentence handed down given the nature of Anderson’s charges.

“We were hoping for jail time, yes,” Truenke said. “I mean, he somehow jaywalked so badly that it qualified as a felony. I don’t know that I’m ever going to understand Judge Devine’s decision.”

Presiding Judge Melbert Devine handed down a sentence of no more than seven years of really dirty looks which may legally give way to disappointed sounds like scoffs, harrumphs and even the occasional tsk-tsk. 

“We hope these consequences will help you realize the negative path you’ve chosen to take is the wrong path, and make positive changes in your life,” Judge Devine said with a straight face to Anderson during his sentencing. 

Anderson was immediately arrested on new drug charges after taking four steps out of the county courthouse.

Reporter Sam Shilts contributed to this article.