Rural Wisconsinite Replaces Nearly Every Single Noun with “Fucker(s)”

CASHTON, WIS — The English language has numerous variations in dialect across the globe, each with its own distinctive characteristics related to region. Language experts argue none are more distinct than that of the rural midwestern United States, wherein it is common practice to replace most nouns in normal sentences with variations of the word, “Fucker”.

The La Crosse Times spoke with 34-year Cashton resident Luke Dernt about what makes the rural dialect so unique. He said the way residents in Cashton and surrounding rural areas speak can be unusual at times. However, he put it a little bit differently.

“[The] way these fuckers talk around this fucker sure is a funny fucker sometimes, isn’t it?” Dernt said.

The word “fucker” is characteristic of the rural dialect, more specifically it’s versatility of use. It’s typically preceded by a demonstrative (like “this”, “that”, “those” or “these”) and in some cases an adjective.

Following are some examples of how the normal English language may translate to rural Wisconsin dialect.

  • Elected government officials – “These fuckers”
  • Police officers – “Those fuckers”
  • A fast food sandwich – “This tasty fucker”
  • A large breed dog – “That big fucker”
  • Your vehicle – “This old fucker”
  • The President – “That fucker”
  • A pen, a cell phone, a printer, a sharpie, a mail man, a letter, a light bulb, a door, a doorknob, a broom, a mop, a plant, your child, your friend, someone you hate, someone you like, someone you are ambiguous toward – “This fucker”

Dernt acknowledges it can be difficult to understand for some who are unfamiliar, but the way he speaks is just a part of what makes home, home.

“These city fuckers can’t understand this rural fucker unless those city fuckers actually grew up around this tiny fucker,” Dernt said, about Cashton, we think. “Anyways, it’s lunchtime. I’m gonna get one of them spicy fuckers from Kwik Trip, you want anything?”

Reporter Sam Shilts contributed to this article.