Taco Bell Giving Away Lifetime Supply of Sauce Packets with Every Goddamn Meal

ONALASKA, WIS — A new promotion from Taco Bell is giving away more taco sauce packets than anyone could ever use in their whole lives with every single meal.

Drivers at the Crossing Meadows’ Taco Bell location noticed a hefty gift in their regular lunch orders.

“They always give you a lot of sauce packets, but this is another level,” Taco Bell regular Jodie Fester said. “One of my drawers at home is actually nothing but sauce packets now. I feel like I should keep them, just in case I need them. I never do, though.”

One study suggests that the average kitchen in America is now 5.6% filled with Taco Bell sauce packets. Their new promotion, “#OhShitWeHaveTooManyOfTheseQuickKyleGetRidOfThemIDon’tKnowJustGrabTwoHandfulsForEveryoneSoWeCanGetThemOutOfHereOkay?” is predicted to double that percentage by the end of 2020.

“This promotion is so exciting,” Taco Bell spokesperson Buckbox Supreme said. “It’s a symbiotic relationship… we have tons of sauce, and we need to get rid of tons of sauce. Win win! Side note, I don’t fully know what a symbiotic relationship is, but it has a hell of a ring to it.”

The latest figures show at least 43 packets of the already 55,000 given out have been used thus far.

Reporter Sam Shilts contributed to this article.