Trump Asks Supreme Court to Strike Down Public Opinion of Him

WASHINGTON, DC — The Trump Administration announced Tuesday they plan to ask the supreme court to nullify the country’s collective public opinion of the president.

Following his handling of the coronavirus and racial tensions in the US, approval ratings for President Trump continue to fall. The latest polls for the November election put President Trump behind former Vice President Joe Biden by double digits. Even the president himself has doubts, saying that Biden may become president because “some people don’t love me.”

The request has come from the president himself, according to insiders who say the president has smashed some of his favorite toys and makes frequent secret phone calls to “definitely nobody from Russia, that I can tell you”. A spokesperson for the administration says the request is not a personal issue.

“This about continuing the work we are doing,” the spokesperson said. “How are we supposed to continue subverting democracy in the US if the opinion of US voters constantly keeps getting in the way? It isn’t fair, it isn’t just, and that’s why we believe that the supreme court we have stacked with loyal serfs will back us up and nullify what anyone thinks of the president.”

According to experts, even if the supreme court rules that the public opinion of the president is invalid, no one will give a shit.

Reporter Sam Shilts contributed to this article.