More Stories God issues statement rebuking spike in gas prices City leaders deadlocked on how to pretend to address homelessness BREAKING: Minnesota friend now REALLY into gardening Ron Johnson intern frantically trying to figure out how to blame train derailment on Covid vaccine Fort McCoy to dump 15 bajillion gallons of water into Mississippi for flood control training La Crosse area stoner suddenly tax revenue expert whenever legalization comes up Increasingly anxious meteorologists assure everyone blizzard ‘definitely coming at some point, probably’ Area bracing for winter’s first punch to the nuts Area pavement cracks looking forward to driving shovel handles into abdomens again BREAKING: Duluth Trading Company imprisoned Santa and Mrs. Claus against their will Area ice fishermen looking forward to upcoming drinking season Two challengers — Daenerys and Aegon Zietlow — announce their claims for Kwik Trip CEO Report: Trump also assured Michels they’d have Taco Tuesday together World’s most boring guitar player loses pick Mount La Crosse fires up seasonal employee-making machines Hoobastank tickets still working just fine, Ticketmaster says Oh No! Libertarian’s polling location within 500 feet of a school Independent voter psyched to completely fuck up society Tuesday City of La Crosse’s new app picks super cool logo design that is not at all a total ripoff of anything DHS recommends La Crosse area receive ‘Ventipox’ vaccine to prevent spread of new Starbucks locations There’s no Pfaff-Van Orden debate, but we saw two squirrels fight over a nut and that was pretty much the same thing BREAKING: Popcorn Tavern now pronounced with a really hard ‘R’ Petition for changes to La Crosse Oktoberfest La Crosse school district scientists excitedly unveil ‘Large School Collider’ as consolidation backup plan FL Gov. begins process of loading Hurricane Ian on plane to Madison ‘Somebody do something!’ cries party currently in control, not doing something Rotary Lights Sets Up New Display Specifically in Honor of Mother Nature Man Feeling Pretty Heroic About Donating All The Non-Perishable Food He Doesn’t Wanna Eat Visiting Texan Sues Blue Baby-Defacing Vandal for $10,000 ‘I need to be able to kick these lazy renters out!’ says man whose entire living is passive income UN Declares Kwik Trip Parking Lot a Humanitarian Disaster Recently Hatched Mayfly Who Can Fly Anywhere Pretty Excited to Sit at Gas Pump for Rest of Its Life Annual City-Wide College Garage Sale in Full Swing CDC Says Fully Vaccinated Can Now Wear Socks With Flip Flops in Public Area Dad’s “Gas Shortage” Jokes Reaching Critical Mass Residents Potentially Exposed to People Who Take Darts Too Seriously, Health Department Warns Employers: We’re Willing to Pay a Generous “Less Than it Costs to Live”, So What’s the Holdup? Officers Show Tremendous Restraint in Not Tasing, Shooting and Deep Frying Emu Resisting Arrest Turns Out The Band “One Direction” Was Actually Named After the Only Way to Get to Farm and Fleet Where Is All This Hate Coming From? All We’ve Ever Done Is Call Being Gay a Sin for Thousands of Years… New Brewery Investors to Continue Tradition of Making Downtown Smell Like Wet Butthole BREAKING: Abandoned Buildings File for Restraining Order Against U-Haul Potato-Shaped Men Struggle to Find New Masculine Potato Icon Johnson Also Insisting COVID Relief Bill Be Read by the Grandpa from The Princess Bride Texas Shores Up Energy Grid by Adding Guns to All Power Plants Bill Feehan’s Red Polo Sweater Comes Forward as Whistleblower in Fraud Allegations New Bill Would Require “Yakety Sax” to Play Whenever GOP Introduces Legislation Local Businessman Hoping You Won’t Notice Face Tattoo “Texans Can’t Handle Winter,” Says La Crosse Man Whose Home Will Be Destroyed by Flood Next Year Martin Gaul Shows Range of Emotions After Close 3rd Place Mayoral Primary Finish Crochet Baby Dolls Totally Come to Life at Night, Haunt Local Man New Job Allows Former Health Director to Address Idiots’ Comments From Entire State Now Mild Chance of More Primary Voters Than Primary Candidates, Election Forecasters Say Weinerfest Cancellation Leaves Behind Excess Amount of Unused Innuendo Local Alpacas Vow to Help Bring Back Zoo at City Hall City Council Approves Purchase of $10B La Crosse-Sized North Face Thermoball Jacket for Cold Spell La Crosse Eagle Sculpture Remodel Bears Striking Resemblance to Don Henley Pearl Street Blaze First Time Water Has Been Served at Brothers BREAKING: Weiner Curves to the Left Gundersen to Lure Anti-Vaxxers into Vaccinating via Pop-Up Fireworks Tents New Ordinance Requires All New Business Names to Include “Rivers”, “Coulee” or “Driftless” GameStop Stocks Explained by Someone Who Has No Idea What the Fuck is Going On City MTU Opens Online Sales of 2021 Struggle Bus Passes Wisconsin Republicans Set to Vote on Repealing the Ozone Layer Too On a Scale of 1 to “U-Haul in the Old K-Mart”, How Disappointing Was Your Last Decision? Tom Brady Eats One Wisconsin Cheese Curd, Transforms into Cenobite “Butterball” School Districts Confident Same Mistake Will Totally Work This Time FBI Needs Your Help Identifying This Seditious Asscrack BREAKING: Melania “Accidently” Pushes Trump Out of Marine One: “Oops” Holy Fuck! A Fucking Hot Dog Car! Fuck! Mike Lindell Unveils New Line of Tactical Assault Pillows for Domestic Terrorists Signs Clarifying New Hate Groups Just for Virgins Deemed “Redundant” Hot Pockets Recalled After Pieces of Edible Food Found Inside Kwik Trip Voted Best Place to Gain 26 Pounds in 2021 Rivoli Ghosts Excited to Finally Start Haunting Movie-Goers Again OPINION: Repainting This Kid’s Room is Gonna Suck, Let’s Just Have One Instead Young Mayoral Candidate’s Flyer Destroyed by His High School English Teacher ‘Sexy La Crosse Mayoral Candidates With Puppies Calendars’ For Sale U-Haul Wondering If You’d Be Able to Help Them With Something For a Few Hours Next Saturday BREAKING: The Table Leg You Stubbed Your Toe On Was Actually ANTIFA In Disguise Local Dad Builds Hairiest LEGO Castle from Pieces Found Sucked Up in Vacuum Lucifer Announces 2021 Goals in State of the Underworld Address Televangelist Pat Robertson’s Head Descends Another 8 Inches Toward Hell Man Scream-Posting ‘FIX THE ROADS’ Now Extremely Upset About Road Construction ‘Best of La Crosse County’ Celebrates One Millionth Category Man Says ‘Moon Tunes’ Three Times Into Mirror, Andy Hughes Magically Appears Guy Wearing Camo Year-Round Says a Mask Will Make Him ‘Look Weird’ Multiple Elvi Injured in Downtown Elvis Explosion Explosion ‘Happy Birthday Tanner’ Completely Tanks at the Box Office Menards Now Only Requiring Patrons to Wear 11% of a Face Mask La Crosse School District Purchases ED-209 for Crossing Guard Duty “No Other Way to Balance the Budget” Says Police Chief Decked Out in $50,000 of Riot Gear County Reports 27 New Cases of People Coming to Full Stop at Empty Roundabout Smiley Face Killer Reportedly Struggling to Work From Home BREAKING: King Gambrinus Tests Positive for Keystone Light La Crosse Queen Fitted to Become First Fully Armored Paddle Destroyer Disappointed La Crosse PD Blames “A Few Good Apples” for Peaceful Demonstrations County Releases Swarm of Angry Parents to Control Bar Populations Golden Keg Files for Unemployment Netflix Offers to Put Skip Button on Losey Boulevard Load more posts Loading… Something went wrong. 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Increasingly anxious meteorologists assure everyone blizzard ‘definitely coming at some point, probably’
City of La Crosse’s new app picks super cool logo design that is not at all a total ripoff of anything
DHS recommends La Crosse area receive ‘Ventipox’ vaccine to prevent spread of new Starbucks locations
There’s no Pfaff-Van Orden debate, but we saw two squirrels fight over a nut and that was pretty much the same thing
La Crosse school district scientists excitedly unveil ‘Large School Collider’ as consolidation backup plan
Where Is All This Hate Coming From? All We’ve Ever Done Is Call Being Gay a Sin for Thousands of Years…
